Retired Superhero Association

Cover art to Supergirl/Lex Luthor Special #1, ...Image via Wikipedia
What happens when every known superhero retires? They join the Retired Superhero Association, of course! Below is a part of their annual general meeting.

Superman: Alright everyone, let's get this meeting started. Now can anyone remember what we are here for? Lois keeps telling me I have forgotten the reason I am the president, and I need all of you to remind me.

Laughter could be heard from the committee board except Batman.

Superman: No, seriously. I need you to remind me. I really forgot my reason.

Batman: For crying out loud! Must we start every meeting with this question? I thought I sent an email to you about this when I told you about this meeting.

Superman: You mean you sent an email to my publicity company. They are the ones controlling the email account. I have given up using computers when my eyesight expired.

Batman: Then where's all your Kryptonian technology?

Superman: Sold it to Lex Luthor after he's been brain-washed. He finally invented a cure for cancer. Where do you think all the funds for this alumni come from?

Green Lantern: You mean we are funded by a super-villain?

Flash: I sure as hell won't use any of my money for this.

Superman: Flash, you work for Lex Luthor.

Flash: That's what I'm saying, Sir Lex is too generous with his assets. He could have bought Microsoft and merge it with Apple Inc with the money he gave this association.

Batman: It interest me that you know so much about our accounts when you are not supposed to.

Flash: Oh, come on, Batman. I'm the Flash. My speed enables me to enter every room man can enter. Of course I can find out anything I want, unless it's in the Internet.

Batman: Thanks for the tip. I will digitize all important documents and make sure only a hacker could open it.

Superman: Nobody told me the reason yet. Should I leave now? You can continue your littel argument all day long while I'm gone.

Green Lantern: The reason you are here, Superman, is because we have disturbing images of you and Lois Lane. I never knew that you... swing that way.

Superman: Oh right, blackmail. Perfect. If I told Lois the truth, I could kiss my marital bliss goodbye. So, according to this paper, we are getting a visit from the next generation of Justice League next Sunday. Is that okay with all of you?

Green Lantern: Next Sunday? What's the date?

Flash: June 21st.

Green Lantern: Not in Earth years, Flash. In standard Universal years.

Flash: How am I supposed to know that? No human on Earth knows when June 21st is in standard Universal years. I just checked.

Martian: It's second cycle, fifth comet.

Green Lantern: Oh, thanks Martian. Superman, I could only come in the afternoon. I have inter-galactic functions scheduled in the morning and evening.

Flash: Can I come?

Superman: No, I need you to help me clean the mansion for the visit.

Flash: That would just take a moment.

Green Lantern: I won't take you anyway. Can't let you spoil the reputation Earthlings have.

Flash: Reputation? What reputation?

Batman: That depends on which alien you ask. We could be regarded as monkeys or insects.

Flash: A really fast one could...

Superman: Find something else better to do on Earth instead of some unknown planet. And that's final.

Flash: Yes, Superman. You're the boss.

Batman: Is Robin coming to visit us?

Superman: Yes, he is. With his wife, Starfire.

Batman: Then count me in.

Superman: You did heard me when I say he's married, right?

Batman: I know Robin. No women is enough for him.

Green Lantern: Okay, I don't think we should continue that line of thought any further.

Flash: Agreed. So, what should we do with the super-villains who applied to join this association?

Batman: You mean should we brainwash them or not?

Flash: I mean can they join the way they are, without brain-washing.

Superman: We do live in a free country...

Green Lantern: That's just governemnt propaganda. I've seen better democracy than ours on other planets.

Batman: Were they human?

Green Lantern: No, they weren't.

Flash: Stop changing topics! The Joker is my best friend now. I can't stand seeing him all alone in his small apartment.

Batman: He should be thankful he's alive at all.

Superman: Now, now. I know your history well, Batman. I won't allow fighting within the mansion.

Flash: Don't worry, Superman. I could stop them in an instant.

Batman: Or you will die trying.

Flash: Is that a threat, Batman?

Green Lantern: We could convert the spare garage into a clubhouse for super-villains. Keep The Joker as far away from Batman as possible.

Superman: Great idea. Any objections?

Flash: No, I'm cool.

Batman: As long as I don't see his face around...

Superman: Okay, I think we're done here. Now to file everything away for our secretary, Raven.

Batman: Do that tomorrow, Raven is on a date with Cyborg.

Flash: What? She changed boyfriend again?

Superman: Apparently, it's a trend now among the next generation to experiment and explore. Gone are the days when our love interest are fixed.

Green Lantern: So it seems. Our days have ended.

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