The Fault In Our Stars

This is a poem dedicated to the book with the same title. The theme is tragic and doomed love. Readers, you have been warned.






Everyday I count my stars,
Balancing it between luck and pluck,
Wondering how much time is left in my clock,
How many stars?
How many stars?
How many stars?
How many stars before I burn out?
No clock is eternal,
No stars are the same,
Everybody cries,
Everybody laughs,
What can I do alone?
What can one wolf do alone?
The pursuit of happiness can be done many ways,
No one formula works for everybody,
But I, the wolf, wish only for one pack.
This hole left in me,
How do I fill it up?
How can I feel happy ever again, if the Moon is lost forever?
A dark angry wolf sounds good.
A happy wolf in a good pack is better.
May I blame stars and fate for my troubles?
Nope. I have no such luxury.
For destruction was necessary.
Betrayal, I did it.
How many can say if the sacrifice was worth it?
How much hatred can I carry alone?
Lelouch saw the problem first.
Lelouch shown me that technique.
I, in turn, will mimic what I can.
I, the chameleon, will do what must be done.
If the price is my sanity, sold.
If the price is my pride, sold.
If the price is my wealth, sold.
If the price is my soul, sold.
The rules and language of trust is simple.
Trust me, and in return I will trust you back.
But if I betray you, be prepared for it.
I wish for nothing more than to feel.
To love.
To hate.
For too long, I can't.
For too long, there is a hole.
For too long, I suppress.
For too long, I calculate alone.
I am still counting my stars.
How many stars left for me?
Sanity is a funny thing, ya know?
Crazy and normal are just two sides of the same coin.
And I have to keep myself in check.
Always.
The alternative of letting the wolf break free........
Is too horrifying.
Blood.
Darkness.
Despair.
I do not plan to walk that path.
I chose Light.
All I want....
To serve
To protect
To summon
Anybody?
Any stars out there?
If I tell you everything,
Pretty sure the Moon will kill me.
It's okay.
Death under a bright Moon is not a bad way to go.
If it means a stronger Moon, a better world.......
Jacen Solo was right.
And wrong too.
Jacen Solo wanted a united world.
Lelouch wanted a united world.
Both went dark for Light.
I, the wolf who mimics, will follow that path too.
Or not, have to ask the Moon.
The stars are here.
The stars are there.
Where should the wolf go?
Towards the Moon?
Or towards the Right Hand?
The sky has always been beautiful.
The sky is far and wide.
Let me sit down for a bit.
Let me grow my roots.
I wonder what kind of fruit I will produce?
I am afraid.
I am afraid of my own potential.
I have to live.
But,
I can't continue long alone.
Ah well, it always takes two hands to clap.
One hand can only make hand symbols.
Who is left, out there, to read my symbols?
Tell me,
Why was I born?
If my whole life is dark till I met them?
I should thank them both for those two happy years actually.
I will forge the world now.
I cannot calculate and predict the end result.
I refuse to do it, even with sufficient data.
Because I myself am afraid.
Was it the fault in our stars?
Or the fault in my mind?
It's done, anyway.
Now, we continue.
One hell at a time.